A New Kind of Christmas

Christmas used to be- 

making ornaments with my mom,

climbing the ladder to the roof with dad to "help" hang the lights,

buying a flocked Christmas tree,

making sugar cookies from scratch and frosting them on the counter, 

opening one gift Christmas Eve,

 sleeping with my sister and staring at her until she said, "yes, now we can get up!"

Then walking out to our living room to see what magic had occurred in the night.

 Then Christmas changed-

we still made ornaments with mom, 

and sometimes bought a flocked tree, 

and my sister and mom began hanging the lights, 

and Christmas Eve was at dad's house, Christmas morn at mom's. 

We made sugar cookies and frosted them on our kitchen counter.

Then two families came in to play and Christmas became for many years-

Christmas Eve at Grandma Betty's, then on to my mother's house that same night.

We awoke did a quick Christmas morning, then showered and hustled over to HH's parents for a big Christmas Brunch where both our families gathered.

Then Christmas night was turkey soup and stockings

 at Grandma Dody and Grandpa Don's. 

We made sugar cookies from scratch and frosted them on the kitchen counter and gave them out to family and friends. 

HH's grandparents moved to Big Bear, then his parents to Reno and it all changed again. 

Brunch moved to our house, we started new traditions of photos with Santa as a family, baking cookies together and frosting them on mom's kitchen counter. 

And we made it work, embraced the new, found a way to be together. 

I've been spoiled the last few years since we moved. 

We've flown to California, had Christmas with both of our families a little early, but still we got to have Christmas together. 

This year it is a totally new kind of Christmas. We didn't fly back.

 HH can't get the time off and he will work Christmas Eve. 

I'm adjusting.

The kids made the cool snowflakes shown above, I shipped all the gifts to family, all the shopping is done, wrapping looms ahead, but I do feel a little bereft. 

I'm a tradition lover and there is a big chunk missing this year. 

Life goes on as it tends to do...

HH is making gorgeous furniture in our garage (photo is in process... final photo later).

The older boys have been skiing a lot with their buddies on the mountain even though we 

still wait for a big dumping of snow. 

 And I'm certain I'm not the only one dealing with newness and change and difference this year. 

Loved ones have been lost, sickness has come, finances are strangling, family isn't near. 

The thing about life is that you can't stop it from changing. 

This girl wants to throw a fit about that sometimes, but then I remember things usually go south when I try to be in charge

But Christmas is a birth we are celebrating, right?

It's about Him who loved us enough to be born of flesh. 

And that's about newness. 

An everlasting, unchanging, beautiful NEWNESS! 

And there is one other tiny little thing that hasn't changed.

We still...

 make sugar cookies

 from scratch

 and frost them

on the kitchen counter!

Merry Christmas to you with love! 

I wish I could give you a hug with that wish. 

Grateful

Life is full of surprises. 

Good and bad.

But, it is full. 

And whatever our circumstances,

we are called to have hearts full of gratefulness.

To find joy and peace in the midst. 

To focus on what the gifts are.

I stand in abundance today.

Grateful for my mother in my kitchen filling the bellies of my sweet children.

For my husband, solid and steady, at the fire station today. 

Already a hero.

For little boys who argue and fight, but will throw leaves in the air laughing and will turn up the music loud and dance with me in the kitchen.

For family not with me who I LOVE and wish I could sit at a table with today. Next year.

For light streaming through my windows.

For opportunities I would never have dreamed of asking for. 

For abundance, not perfection.

For life, not always easy. 

For all the little ways my God shows me His love. 

The still rounded belly of my youngest.

Three generations together making stuffing at midnight. Chopping, sauteing, breathing in the moment.

An encouraging word from a friend or a stranger.

A sunrise of fresh created colors. 

Abundance.

Gratefulness. 

Seeing it. 

Drinking it in. 

May your heart overflow with gratefulness today. 

A gift all its own.

I ordered this Family Rules sign from Tara & Andrew Lowry. They did a phenomenal job creating a sign with our personal family rules. I love it. A daily reminder to us and our children, just who we are. 

Happy Thanksgiving Friends. 

Fall In Review, Winter's Debut

Snowflakes are softly falling outside my window. It's not of the sticking kind yet, but winter is certainly weaving its way in and making sure fall finds the exit door.

Spring in California was always my favorite season. I loved the flowers blooming, the warmer weather and jasmine blossoms in the night air. Spring in Montana is yuck— wet, grey, cold.

But, fall here is magnificent and it's now my new favorite season.

As we welcome winter only because it means we get to ski, I wanted to share some photos of our fall. 

The pumpkin patch...

And Halloween...

Seriously, how clever is that JACK in the Box. 

And my sister made the lion costume years ago when her twins were two (they are 15 now). 

My glue gun is my friend. It helped me make this toothpaste costume.

So goodbye fall...

We will miss you.

Three Secrets to A Healthy Marriage

I wrote that title with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. Not because I don't feel I have any authority to speak on this issue, but because it sounds like I'm writing a  Family Circle or Woman's Day article. A little corny.

Today is my 15 year wedding anniversary with Hottie Husband and I think making it that long and truly being happy for the breadth of it, does give me some authority and wisdom in this area. We have recently watched marriages crumble around us and it is just so sad. I don't have another word for it.

My heart is to share what helps, what works, how letting go of "self" is the only way to flourish.

So here are my handy dandy marriage tips–

1) Give up your right to be right. It's not worth it. How can being right in a discussion or argument possibly help? It doesn't.  Instead, brush right past the "who is right" part and look for a different way to make it work.  You might be thinking... but, then he'll always think he's right... REALLY? So what! Just think how happy he'll be. And really, try to avoid those kinds of arguments anyway. It gets you nowhere. Honestly, I don't even remember the last time we had a discussion involving a scenario where we were trying to be the one who is "right."

2) Respect and Love Circle- Here is where my husband keeps us on track.  Years ago, he heard a talk on Christian radio about respect and love in marriage. You may be totally familiar with this, but for those of you who aren't, the short version is that men really, really want respect and women really, really want love. But, there is this catchy circle in a marriage that if a man is not feeling like his wife respects him, he's not going to show her the love and then she will be even more likely to put him down,  treat him without any respect, ect. and then he will pull away the love even more. Of course, it can also start with him not showing love, her feeling unloved, lashing out, he feels like he's not respected, and things get ugly.

The solution. Stop the cycle. Somebody has to do it. Respond with respect. Tell him how proud you are of the work he does, how great he is with the kids, how you see him working so hard to provide for your family. To be honest, I get a little (just a little) feisty and riled up about things sometimes. Do you know what my husband does? He stops me, he kisses me, he tells me how much he loves me. And stubborn girl that I am, I think, "Oh, he's doing that love thing." But, it always works.

3) Accountability. This one is our lifeline. You cannot just be accountable to yourself or your spouse. For us, we both know that the other is accountable to God for our actions. This is in the big things as well as the small things. Infidelity may be a sin, but so is anger.

It also means letting go of trying to fix each other. We are only in charge of ourselves. I'll say that again— We are only in charge of ourselves.  Neither of us is perfect; but God is constantly working on both of us. And that's a comfort. It means we don't have to work to fix each other. We can rest in the knowledge that God is in it with us.

Here's last year's post about my wedding with lots of photos of that day.

And please don't get me wrong, I know things can be complicated and hard and I may have it easy, but if even a small portion of this makes things a little better, provokes thought or helps a newlywed, then that's a good thing I think. 

Spurs

I think Montana has had a creative effect on me. Since moving here, I've written a novel, created an online magazine and now I'm launching a business with a dear friend. And we already have more clients than we imagined.

You can check us out here if you feel nosy : ). We are still under construction and launching this week, but crazy super fun busy.

All of this has interrupted my personal blogging time. And I miss you guys. 

Can I tell you that I would've never gotten here without being first a mom blogger? It is the creativity I've witnessed by other women and mothers across blogland that has spurred me on. It has caused me to want to know more, create better photographs, form friendships with women I may never see face to face, paint  furniture, cook beautiful food and be a better mother.

So this is my little thank you note. Thank you for being the women you are. Thank you for being creative, pushing the limits, using social media for good, and for being authentic. Thanks for spurring me on by being your best selves.

Settling In

It's raining outside and I'm waiting for the Direct TV guy to come hook up our cable. We moved in a week ago today and I'm suddenly exhausted. It was a week of unpacking, cleaning the old place, washing and ironing (not an everyday occurrence) bedskirts and drapery panels and organizing and purging. The boys are settled in their new rooms and Little Bear walks around saying, "I like the new house. I like the new house."

Mister Luke and Jackie Boy ride their bikes to school each morning and Toots rides or walks with us. Everything is so close. A friend of mine said, "It's like living in a little village." And she's right.

I'm starting to feel settled. Not just in our new home, but in Whitefish. Somehow, living in this new home feels like we are here to stay. And we think that's a good thing.

But, I can't help but feel nostalgic. To think of how life just moves forward. Always moving forward. And I'm ever wishing for a pause button so I can take it all in. I just LOVe life so much. I've got my computer set to go through the 24,222 photos I have on it as a screensaver and there is- Toots as a baby, Luke playing t-ball, Jack as a policeman in preschool, a lunch with my sister and mom, a birthday celebrated with family at our California home, HH and I on an anniversary trip to Avalon. The slideshow is so amazing to watch- our life on miniature pause buttons. One blessing after another.

I missed my mom and sister and mom-in-law and dad during the move. I'm used to them taking over, filling in the gaps, helping with the kids, cleaning, organizing my new kitchen. But, I was grateful for the friends we've made- bringing groceries, making dinner, watching our children, moving furniture, offering a trailer. We are truly blessed with good friends.

And I feel like something has been restored. I can't pinpoint it yet. But, there is something we've been given back. It could be the space in this home or the fact that friends gather after school in the yard, or a place in the community. But, God is doing something there. I'm certain.

Thanks for reading. For caring about me. For being there. It means so much. xo

A New Season

Every morning this week, the most lovely sunrises have greeted us.

The beams like gateways to the heavens, the colors magnificent.

I have better photos, more accurate photos taken with my big girl camera.

But, I'm so tired right now and could only handle uploading from one device. 

The iPhone won. 

It's our last week with this view of the lake from what has seemed like a long stay (2 years) at a vacation home.

And I will miss this view and the rumbling of the train passing under our windows. 

I will miss Little Bear saying "good morning lake" and "train coming."

It is the place that was our landing spot here in Montana.

It's clear we are headed into a new season. 

To a home where I will finally unpack and settle.

Before we moved, we'd spent ten years remodeling, painting, fixing, designing. 

And we were tired and burnt out. 

So, we did nothing to this house to make it our own. We've lived in it like a vacation home, never unpacking all the boxes.

In this new season, we are moving "into town."

The kids will walk to school. 

We will ride our bikes into town and to church and to the high school football games.

We will live on the street where all the trick or treaters go on Halloween and we will be near good friends. 

We will have a big fenced yard (we haven't had one), and a huge garden to plant, and a finished basement and the most amazing amount of storage I've ever seen. 

The older boys will have their own rooms for the first time. 

I will have my own office space. YAY!

These are some photos of the few things we've already moved.

 And the biggest laundry room ever. 

Ours has been the entry to our home for the last two year. Ughh!

The boys set up our camping table in the yard tonight and ate dinner while I unpacked a few boxes. 

They can't wait. 

I'm excited too. I like change and I like the purging of "stuff" that goes along with a move. 

But, still. 

I can't help but feel it's bittersweet. 

We'll never get that time back and a season is ending

I'll post more photos of the house soon.