Courage

I didn't think I would write another wrestling post.
But something happened this weekend.
My son not only wrestled his opponents.
He wrestled with fear.

In his first match, he wrestled the boy he had wrestled last weekend.
This boy was a little fireball.
He was stocky with a belly and a round red face and he was spunky.
He came up to Jackie Boy before the match and said as fast as possible, all words running together in a race-

hey jack, remember me, we wrestled last week, how ya doin jack? wanna go see the girl we wrestled last weekend? see her! she's just over there. come on jack. let's go say hi.


Jackie Boy looked up at me and smiled like we were thinking the same thing.

what's amatter jack? did you just wake up?


Jack shook his head. He didn't want to go see the girl.

I said-

It was Jack's birthday yesterday and he was up late with his buddies so he is a little tired.


Fireball-

no way, it is my birthday today but I don't know what we're doing but i think i'm having a party later but i don't know what we are going to do but it is my birthday today.


Me-


Happy Birthday! Sorry my son is going to pin you in about five seconds. That won't be such a great present.


I didn't say that last part, but that is what happened. He pinned him in the shortest wrestling match of all time. Really, I'm absolutely sure of it.  I didn't really get it at first. We had waited all this time for his match and Grammy and Papa were there to see it and then in a few seconds it was over.

Me to Hottie Husband-

How come his match was so short? Everyone else got to wrestle for so much longer and there were only two points on the board.


HH- He pinned him. When you do that- it's over!


Oh! I guess that's good then.


Then came the next match. This boy was taller and looked tougher than Fireball.
And he was.
He had four years of experience on him and it showed, but Jackie Boy has brothers and determination and that showed too.

But then there was blood.
And blood changes everything for a kid.
It is bright red proof spilled all over the mat that you are hurt.

With blood comes tears.

His nose was bleeding everywhere. He had been hit! So under the rope I went out to my boy and put pressure on the bridge of his nose and held bloody napkins and cleaned smeared blood off of his hands and shoulders and face.

They sanitized the mat.
The bleeding subsided, but wasn't gone yet.

Does he want to finish the match?


Tears.
Head shaking no.
Head hung down.
Hiding his face.

Me- Let some other kids go and we'll see how he feels when it stops bleeding.


Everyone is almost finished.
The bleeding has stopped.

Does he want to wrestle?


Head hung low.
More tears.
Head shaking - No!

At this point, I want to wrap him in my arms and take him home. There is no reason a hurt boy should wrestle. But, I know that his nose is okay and that now he is wrestling with fear and fear is something I have wrestled with enough to know that it needs to be beaten.

But, I'm his mom and he knows I want to pick him up and take him home.
I know there is no way he is going to overcome his fear with me holding him in my arms.
Sometimes the best thing is to let go.

So, I find HH's eye in the stand, I gesture to him that he needs to come, and I walk away from my boy and let his daddy take over.

Little Bear is over-tired and hungry.  I sit in the stands and nurse him.

Then, Jackie Boy is out on the mat with a huge white round piece of gauze stuck up in his nose.
I adjust the baby and struggle around in my diaper bag, trying desperately to get to my camera because there is no way that my guy is going to wrestle with something stuck up in his nose without me getting a picture of it.



At first he looks nervous, then he looks strong and then he looks mad.
The match is over.
He has won.
He cries again. But this time the tears are relief and a little of something else.

They try to give him two blue ribbons because he has won both matches.
He says- I only need one!
But son, you won both. You can have two.
I only need one. 


HH comes back up to me in the stands and his eyes glisten with the start of tears though he does not let them go.
I get it.

We were in a noisy place where many matches were going on and while nobody else knew what had happened, we knew that we had just witnessed our son do something great.

We knew we had just witnessed him overcome his fear.
We knew we had just witnessed him being courageous.