Poop

We had a serious offense committed this morning in our home and the culprit is pictured below. It sort of looks like a mug shot, doesn't it? Her name is M.J. 

I woke up at 8:30 this morning and Ty was asleep between Jason and I, due to his habit of sneaking into our room in the middle of the night. My back was hurting and I wasn't feeling good so I got up to sneak around to the other side of the bed to tell Jason I would not be going to church. When I stood up, I saw some blurry (I didn't have my contacts in) brown spots all over the carpet. I didn't smell anything, but it became pretty clear that it was poop. I avoided stepping in several piles as I made my way to Jason's side and woke him with this, "I don't feel good so I am not going to church and M.J. pooped all over." He was delighted.

Now, there has been this deal in our marriage since we got our first dog. He is in charge of any dog poop. This is due to the fact that it makes me gag and dry heave. I thought maybe it would work for all poop situations, but as soon as we had kids, it became pretty clear that I was in charge of the majority of kid poop.  I must tell you that Jason is very helpful in all gross situations and doesn't leave me to fend for myself. 

I tried to reciprocate this morning by bringing up some paper towels, a rag, a trash bag and some Spot Shot. However, as I walked into the room I noticed (now with my glasses on) that there were three piles of normal poop and several piles of the D word. One was strategically placed right under where the door opens so there was no way to get out without scraping it across. I realized that I had done just that when I headed downstairs. As I approached him with the stuff, I immediately started gagging and dry heaving and ran out of the room, stepping in something as I ran out. I nearly hopped on one foot all the way down stairs so I could wash my foot in the sink, gagging the whole way. This was no easy feat at 8 and a half months pregnant. 

It took him about an hour to clean it all up. 

One blessing is that I have had a cold for about 2 months- FOR-EV-ER. My OB just put me on antibiotics. But, the great thing about it this morning was that I could not smell a thing or I am sure I would have puked. That would have been even worse for my cute husband.