Not Me Monday

Welcome to my first Not Me Monday post. 
This weekend I did not stand in front of a public restroom for 15 minutes lecturing my son about poop. I would never tell my child that everyone he sees poops and that sometimes old ladies  and young ladies even fart in the stalls of public restrooms. I did not then proceed to threaten to walk into the boys restroom with him and sit him in the stall and I did not point out that it would be much more embarrassing for him to have his mother escort him into a boys bathroom than going in and pooping all on his own. And he certainly did not reply that it would be easier to be a girl because then when you are in the stall, nobody would know whether you are peeing or pooping.
There is also no way that I would ever drink the leftovers of a vanilla shake that Toots had started. I mean, as Mister Baseball pointed out to me, Toots leaves remnants of food in his drinks and there were sure to be pieces of grilled cheese in that shake. So I certainly did not taste it and I did not decide that it was the best vanilla shake I had ever tasted and I then DID NOT drink the rest of the shake including sporadic random flavors, especially since Weigh Down Wednesday will soon be here. Plus, that would be totally disgusting and I would never do that. 
Oh, and another thing. I did not stand at a pool party yesterday rolling my stroller back and forth rocking my baby to sleep while Mr. Baseball held the baby in his arms. I mean that would be completely crazy. I would never mistake the weight of my diaper bag and wet towels to be the weight of my baby. That would be ridiculous because I know exactly where all my children are at all times. My friend most certainly did not have to point out to me, "He's not in there." No, she certainly did not!
Gosh!





 This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.