The other day I had the great joy of talking to my dear friend Krista on the phone and she had the audacity to call me "Get in Shape Barbie." I laughed. It was so nice to talk to friend who really knows me because that kind of girlfriend relating has been quite sparse since I arrived here in Montana.
Anyway, thus the title of today's post.
I have been hitting the local gym about four to five times a week. Yes, you can do a big cheer for me right now!
However, the gym here is truly more like a spa with exercise equipment. It has a sauna, an amazing locker room, a jacuzzi, a huge water slide that the boys love to go down, a smoothie bar and a huge living room area with a fireplace. It is a very cool place and most of the people are normal. However, I do tend to notice some strange birds there too.
My first oh so uncomfortable experience was, of course, in the women's locker room. I was in line for the shower. This was during the first few weeks of January which was the ONLY time there has ever been anything close to a line. It has never happened since so I assume all of those people already gave up on their New Year's resolution to get in shape. Poor Not Getting in Shape Barbies!
This woman, who was in the shower, came out of the shower and at the sight of the line, exclaimed - Oh, I am so sorry! I didn't know.
And then, this rather plump round lady who was probably close to 70 proceeded to dry herself right there as she spoke to me. Towel behind her back, rubbing back and forth and you know what jiggling in the front. Bending over to dry as I turned my face away from her and all the time she is giving me this not so great show, she is saying- really, if I had known there was a line, I would have come out sooner, there is never a line and I just (rub, rub, no towel now- ewwww- looking only at her eyes to be polite) feel so bad that people are waiting.
I say- It is no problem- glory hallelujah there is a shower open- adios little miss towel dry lady- hope never to see so much of you again.
Then there is the towel head guy. He is a bit hairy on the chest and wears a yellow tank top with a white towel always on his head. It doesn't appear to be for any cultural or religious reasons either. Just a white raggedy towel sitting upon his head. I just always glance at him and think- there is the towel head guy again. Well, the other day he was stretching on this big stretching contraption that I have not yet figured out and he sneezed really loud. I looked over in time to see a huge spray of spit come out of his mouth and all over the stretching contraption. Gross! At least he didn't use his head towel to wipe it down, but they do have antibacterial wipes available. Surprisingly enough, he didn't wipe it down.
The other strange bird that makes an appearance there is this woman who trains the Silver Spurs or something like that- It might be the Silver Swans or Silver Stretchers, but it is basically an elderly group who work out together and have a group name that starts with Silver. Well, this lady has a voice that could wake the dead. It is so high pitched and loud that people turn their heads when she speaks. We all look at each other like- what in the world? My only thought is that perhaps she is heard better by her Silver friends who might have some hearing issues. Either that or she must drive them crazy when she speaks.
I have to tell you that I am easily entertained and the gym is turning out to be great people watching entertainment for me.
By the way, Get in Shape Barbie is down 9 pounds and ten and a half inches.