Thursday, January 28, 2010

To Be Known

Growing up in the same town your entire life teaches you something. It teaches you to take for granted the idea of being known.

Back in California, I was known by the checker at the grocery store and about 10 other people I would try to avoid running into as I went down the aisles.
I was know by my friends from high school.
I was known by my mother's and my sister's friends.
I was known by the pediatrician we went to for 10 years.
I was known by the pre-school director and all the teachers.
I was known by the elementary school secretary and most of the teachers.
I was known on a deeper level by my friends and family.
I was known by the football families and the baseball families.
I was known by our pastor, our children's pastor and all our church family.

I was known.

They knew my family and who I was. They knew that we were a good, strong, community loving family.

And I never had to try one bit for any of that- EVER.

I remember thinking- I can't invest in any more friendships, I don't even have enough time for the friends I already have.

But, being in a whole new place is hard. I never would have thought that this would be the one thing that would be the hardest. I am not used to having to make an effort. I am not used to caring if I meet any new friends. And I am not used to people not already having an idea of who I am. It is weird and foreign to me in a way that I never anticipated.

It is hilarious because I will tell HH that I was talking to a mom at the preschool or another mom at the gym and he'll say- Did you make a girldate? I look at him like he is crazy and say- NOOOOOO!

I seriously need my friend Heather here- she has always been my social planner. She is the one who would plan all of the dinners and outings for our group of friends, plan the menu, tell me what to bring. I loved it because I am not good at making plans. At this point, it would feel awkward and desperate and I refuse to be that.

So, as much as I miss being known, I know that it will take time and that the best friendships fall into place naturally. I realize that I will never be known like I was in my home town, but in time I will be known here too.  


Katrina said...

I joined a Mom's group in my area a few months back and a group of us girls were talking about how awkward it is to meet other women. You just feel kinda weird saying, "Hey, uh, can I call you sometime?"
I would meet another mom at the playground and my husband would be like, "Is that your new girl crush?"
Uh, seriously? What is with guys haha.

Life is good! said...

i have a wonderful friend like that also. she just kinda informs me what to do and it's a no brainer and i like that. plus i can depend on her for everything!
hope you have a great weekend!

Farmgirl Paints said...

I remember all of that too well.

I remember looking at women out to dinner all sitting together laughing, and longing to be a part of the group.

I remember going to a park with my little ones and talking to a woman, and I was so lonely and apparently sad that she put her phone number on my windshield when she left.

I remember those days and feeling the same way you do. It just takes time.

Foursons said...

I have lived in the same place all my life. I love it.

Kelly L said...

I have lived in CA all my life too -
It is nice to be known at the market and the places you frequent....


campbell6 said...

We've moved over, and over and over again. God will bring em. :-)