Tuesday, May 11, 2010


It was a few weeks ago when I wrote all of my "Time Giver" Posts. I wanted to wait to publish them because I wanted time to see where it would go... and to reflect.

The reality is I can't do it every day. I can't get those 15 minutes of alone- purposefully present in mind and body- time with each of them every day. Our lives don't let it. By the fifth day, it  was the weekend and we went hiking together and they had birthday parties to go to and friends houses to visit.

They didn't have time for me. And I realized that the older they get, this will probably become more of the case. Like that old Cat's in the Cradle song that always makes me cry.

I started out thinking I was doing this great thing for them- giving them my precious undivided time. Pouring into their lives. But, what I came away with is that I was really giving time to myself. Time with them that I will cherish when they grow up, pack up a car and drive away to college, find a lovely girl to marry and create lives of their own.

I won't just remember myself as a mom who ran around driving them places, making sure they did what they needed to do. I will remember that I stopped and connected with them.

At times, people have said to me- You are such a good mom. And my response is usually- Well, sometimes! 

But, being unselfish with them, having no agenda, simply being with them. Those moments felt like - yes, today, right now... I am a good mom. 

So, although I may not be able to do it every day, I can make sure I get some one on one time each week with them. I can assure that they feel connected to me and our family. I can give that time to them and to myself.

Thank you for indulging me in this series of posts, for telling me that you were inspired to do some time giving of your own.

Keep it up... pass it on... it is so worth it.


Farmgirl Paints said...

Amen sister friend.

partialemptynester said...

Love it!! And yes...you really can...you can give your all to each moment that you are in right then! My favorite saying while my kids were growing up was, "You can't shovel while it's still snowing"...so I'd just get out there guilt-free and enjoy the snow! I always wanted my floors to be perfectly clean and my windows to be perfectly spotless...last weekend we had a big shindig for a friend and there were close to a couple of hundred guests in our home...more than one walked through the wrong side of my sliding glass door that was open all night! And more than one person asked if they should take their shoes off to walk across my carpet...my house is too clean now, my friend...and my older kids spend lots of confident time away, since we spent some much of it with them in childhood! Yes, you are a GREAT mom!!!!

Sorry to take up so much space, but I LOVE encouraging young moms who "get it"!

Foursons said...

I am so glad to hear that you were unable to do this everyday. It gives me much relief. But I am much more conscious now of what I am doing and not doing w/my boys.

2 Moms of a Feather...Stick Together said...

Thank You for sharing your series with us! I enjoyed & looked forward to reading it everyday.
Children do grow up fast...my oldest is 28 and my youngest 9.Time does fly!
So...enjoy each stage that life has to bring you.
Love ya,
P.S. I am glad that we got to meet...your blog is one of my favorites to read.

Brigetta's Mom said...

Can't wait for you to get here so I can spend some TIME with all of you....Love you, Mom

Rachel said...

Beautiful post...and sooo true!

Quality time, to me, is WAY more valuable than quantity time.



Kathleen said...

I was leaving for a tennis match one evening and Trent had all the kids singing "The Cat's in the Cradle." Made me laugh, but hope they don't make it their anthem.