It was a few weeks ago when I wrote all of my "Time Giver" Posts. I wanted to wait to publish them because I wanted time to see where it would go... and to reflect.
The reality is I can't do it every day. I can't get those 15 minutes of alone- purposefully present in mind and body- time with each of them every day. Our lives don't let it. By the fifth day, it was the weekend and we went hiking together and they had birthday parties to go to and friends houses to visit.
They didn't have time for me. And I realized that the older they get, this will probably become more of the case. Like that old Cat's in the Cradle song that always makes me cry.
I started out thinking I was doing this great thing for them- giving them my precious undivided time. Pouring into their lives. But, what I came away with is that I was really giving time to myself. Time with them that I will cherish when they grow up, pack up a car and drive away to college, find a lovely girl to marry and create lives of their own.
I won't just remember myself as a mom who ran around driving them places, making sure they did what they needed to do. I will remember that I stopped and connected with them.
At times, people have said to me- You are such a good mom. And my response is usually- Well, sometimes!
But, being unselfish with them, having no agenda, simply being with them. Those moments felt like - yes, today, right now... I am a good mom.
So, although I may not be able to do it every day, I can make sure I get some one on one time each week with them. I can assure that they feel connected to me and our family. I can give that time to them and to myself.
Thank you for indulging me in this series of posts, for telling me that you were inspired to do some time giving of your own.
Keep it up... pass it on... it is so worth it.