I am not a cusser. Not a girl who uses the sh-word or the a-word or the b-word or the f-word. I never have been. In fact, I was not even allowed to say "shut-up" as a kid and now my kids aren't either.
Hottie Husband (who at this moment is jump roping in the back yard, doing double unders, without a jump rope and making me giggle) is not a cusser either. We've been together since high school and even back then, we just didn't let that kind of lingo fly much. That isn't to say that we NEVER cuss. There are certain things that provoke it— snow skiing and almost eating it, bad drivers, near crashes, police lights flashing in the rear view mirror, dog poop on the floor, sudden pain.
One of my favorite stories is about one of my best friends who, holding her Bible in her hand, stepped into the pedicure water at a salon and then shouted F*** at the top of her lungs. The water was scalding hot and then so was her face. Sometimes it just can't be contained.
I just took my two youngest boys on a road trip to South Dakota for my cousin's wedding and on the first leg of the drive, my seven year old said, "Mom, does the F word rhyme with duck?"
Me- Yes, who told you that?
Him- Such and such at school.
Me- Well, just don't ever say it!
Him- Yeah, well I just asked Luke and Jack if the F word was F***!
This is one of those mommy moments where I nearly come out of my skin and then say really stupid stuff.
Me- I JUST TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY IT. If you ever say it again, I will wash your mouth out. ( I realize on the road there is no soap or sink in the car I then get really ridiculous.) I will pull over to the side of the road and make you eat grass!
It is quiet now for a moment, then he says, "Mom, is grass soap?" I stifle a laugh, "No dear. Grass is not soap."
I say all this because in my novel, there is a girl, a character I love, who uses the b-word and the sh-word and the f-word and I recently had a reviewer write that she didn't appreciate the F-bombs in the book. Honestly, they were not easy to write. And it was really uncomfortable for me to think of my dad reading the words I'd written aloud to my step-mom.
But, I know this girl in my book and I know about seven like her in real life. Girls with hard lives. And guess what? Those girls don't filter and they let the f-word fly. So, for my character Clara, for this good-hearted broken girl who I "get", I let her use the f-word. I think I would have done her an injustice had I not.
Disclaimer- If you are my friend and you use the f-word, I don't really care so please don't feel the need to filter. If you are my child, not so much.