Especially when you were little, wasn't falling in the toilet one of your greatest fears?
I mean, it still is one of the things that I would absolutely hate to have happen to me.
But, when you are little and you are first getting potty trained at 2 or 3, the idea of something coming out of your body and disappearing into a swirling, suction abyss can be frightening. For my kids, the roar of the flush of the public toilets always terrified them. And me? Well, I became psycho germaphobe (not a real word), and went all Howie Mandel on my kids- don't touch that, awww grosss, that is disgusting, do NOT LAY on the bathroom floor. These were all said in my yelling whisper voice so as not to let anyone else in the bathroom know how the whole thing was freaking me out.
I have no idea why I am now going into a deep discussion of toilet fears, except for introductory purposes to our own toilet fiascos this week.
Ummmm... there was some falling in this week. And not in the normal way.
Getting out of the house on time when you wake up at 7am and it is still pitch dark, getting lunches made, finding all necessary normal clothing items, signing random papers from school that the kids forgot to tell me about the night before, making sure they all eat something, brush their teeth, find snow boots, snow pants, both gloves and a hat is nearly impossible every morning. Wrap a baby who needs to eat and have pants changed into that and it is impossible.
However, I had it To-geth-er the other morning and we were almost ready to get in the car a little early even! I was close to high-fiving myself on my organization, herding and directive skills, when Toots came out of the bathroom and said, "I fell in the toilet."
The bathroom the boys use to brush their teeth and hair in the morning is just a sink and toilet area. A bit small, so we put a cabinet over the toilet bad idea in hindsight to put their toothbrushes and toothpaste into. Last week we lost a Spiderman toothbrush to the toilet and this week Toots was climbing an unshut, unflushed toilet yes, this would be the perfect time to gag because it is the worst case scenario in that toilet, to get to the toothpaste. He fell in knee first and wrecked a whole pant leg.
Just know that I went all Howie Mandel on him and told him how disgusting it was and repeated over and over- YOU MUST FLUSH THE TOILET, YOU MUST CLOSE THE TOILET!!!! SEE HOW DISGUSTING THAT IS!!! Then I bleached everything in that bathroom.
My high-fiving of self and getting to school early went right down the toilet! Hahaaha- I just had to say that.
Problem solver that I am, I went out and bought a new container for the toothbrushes and toothpaste so it can be right on the counter, as far from the toilet as possible.
Problem solved, right?
You go in, keep body in front of sink the whole time, brush your teeth and walk out with no toilet involvement whatsoever.
Not in our house!
Tonight Hottie Husband wasn't home, so we decided to surprise him and make some chocolate chip cookies for him to take to the fire station tomorrow. They stayed up a little later than usual, so when they were getting ready for bed, I was ready to clock out. They all went into the bathroom to brush their teeth.
Toots came out soaking wet and his brothers came out laughing so hard they were crying saying, "Toots fell in the toilet." His pajama pants are soaking wet and he has sprinkles of toilet water all over his back, chest and arms!
At first I'm mad because I want them in bed NOW and now I have to shower this little guy and re-jammy him and yada, yada, yada!
I start lecturing- Why was the toilet open? Why was he even over there? How did this happen? Stop laughing! I can't understand you. You two- get upstairs and get into bed. It is late! Toots- let's go shower.
Then I look at him. He is trying to be strong. But, the tears start coming. He has hurt himself. His back is bruised from hitting the toilet!
Hugs! Come on kiddo! Let's clean you up.
He gets all cleaned up. I kiss the boo boo and say-
That toilet has been trying to eat you this week!
And I get a laugh!
I still have no idea how it happened.