About a month ago, the boys had some friends over.
They were all running about our yard which contains a long dirt driveway and an area behind the garage with a few fruit trees where they sometimes shoot bb guns.
It can't really be called a yard, but we call it that anyway.
Mister Luke comes running in.
By the way, he recently informed me that he does not want to be called Mister Luke on my blog. He wants to be called Mister Baseball. But, he just started playing football so I think he could change his mind. I am therefore doing what I want with my blog concerning his name and basically everything else.
Anyway, so Mister Luke comes running in the house with many loud boys on his tail.
Mom, there is some big grey thing in the tree. It is hooked to the tree and mooommmm, listen to me, you have to come see!!!!!
We go outside and lo and behold there is a giant grey thing hanging from the tree.
See it through there. And we have an apple tree. Did you know that?
Meanwhile many loud and hyper boys run around the garage and start throwing rocks at the grey thing that I have only seen a distant glimpse of.
I move closer to see.
Then, I see it and then I yell-
STOP THROWING ROCKS!!!
But, then I noticed the creatures who were suddenly flying around and they did not look like bees.
Are they giant flies?
Are they wasps?
What are they?
But, you see, we are from Southern California and we really don't know much about this kind of stuff. So, we escape into the house and off to the computer we go.
Google is one of my best friends.
When I don't know something, it gives me the answers.
We hang out together frequently.
Probably because Michael Goguen has a house across the lake from us.
Using his site's service is so very much like jumping on his water trampoline on the lake and riding his jet skis and going to fancy parties at his house.
Anyway, so after jumping on the trampoline together, Michael and I found some images of different types of hives.
This is what ours looks like.
It turns out it is a hornet's nest.
A very BIG hornet's nest.
Once my good buddy Michael and I found out what it was on google images, then we looked up how to get rid of them.
I go out to Hottie Husband who is lounging peacefully on our deck.
Okay, so it says that you have to put on a lot of protective clothing- like maybe all your ski gear and goggles and stuff- and then you can get some spray from the hardware store, but you should get two bottles just in case one malfunctions and you have to go out at night, when its cold and while they are sleeping.
Then, you spray the poison right up into the bottom.
But, you have to be very careful because they get really mad and they can MOBILIZE! They are very organized and can attack. Once you are sure they are dead, then you put a giant trash bag over it and throw it away.
He looks at me.
I look at him, waiting for him to get up and kill the hornets.
To protect our family.
Can't I just put a bag over it now and throw it away?
No, because what if it breaks open on the trash man and they MOBILIZE and kill him?
He gives me that look like he is thinking.
Head tilted to the side, eyes looking in the distance.
Then he goes back to reading.
He goes back to lounging in the sun.
Doesn't he know we are under attack?
Doesn't he realize they can MOBILIZE?
Hasn't he heard the phrase- MADDER THAN A HORNET?
I don't want to find out what that looks like.
Apparently, he doesn't either because that nest is still sitting
behind the garage in our expansive fruit tree grove.
I asked him the other day what he was going to do about it.
I'm going to wait until it is cold enough and then cut it down from the tree.